Let’s talk about the Inner Child because it comes up a lot in my soul support sessions with women. I hear from my clients that they have been told to heal their inner child and the guidance is usually to revisit what they enjoyed as a kid.
Time and time again, they share how this is triggering, confusing, and even paralyzing at times.
To heal the inner child requires “play” but so often the suggestions on HOW to do this healing work can feel infantilizing and demeaning to grown women.
As an adult, play is more about enjoying life and giving yourself the freedom to explore your interests. It’s about hitting time out on stress so you can nourish your whole being.
Sometimes you do still have a passion for things you did as a kid. Those are experiences and pastimes that you can return if called.
But what if you didn’t have an awesome childhood?
What if you weren’t allowed to be a kid? What if you did a lot of people pleasing and weren't encouraged to develop your sense of self?
That’s common… It’s also why we have inner child wounds.
Some women weren’t given the opportunity to play or enjoy themselves during their younger years. They may have been forced to grow up fast or too soon for a variety of reasons. Others may have participated in certain sports or excelled in areas they had no genuine interest in merely to please others.
Childhood was different for everyone and so healing our inner child will be too.
If you have been the “heal your inner child struggle bus” for awhile, start to see this work as an invitation to return to your relaxed, joyful, and curious state.
To be clear, this is only one aspect of healing the wounded little one within. I highly encourage getting other support like what I offer in Soul Sessions and The Wild-Hearted Collective so that you are working through it from all angles.
If you've been feeling disconnected the concept of play, here is a quick guide of experiences to get you started. These are things I've done and I personally feel speak to BOTH my inner child and the grown Goddess within.
#1 Go for a drive and blast your favorite music
You might be thinking, "Seriously?"
But how often do you give yourself the freedom to get in the car and just drive without being confined to a time frame or specific endpoint. I love to do this with no destination in mind... although I often end up at a crystal shop.
I turn up the volume on my favorite music and let myself just go.
If you don't love driving, you might want to pop your ear buds in and go for a bike ride or roller blade. If you do that, try not to be make it about working up a sweat. (Multi-taskers I see you.)
#2 Redefine "play" for yourself.
I'm hoping you are breathing a little easier and even excited after I redefined "play" for you above.
With all of that in mind it's time to take a look at what you are already doing that aligns with freedom, curiosity, and joy. Do more of it! You might also feel pulled towards expanding your horizons by trying something new. Do that too!
One of the most healing things you can do is listen to the voice within and respond to what it is asking. Rather than just doing what you think "should" be fun, tune in and follow through with what you feel is enjoyable for you personally.
#3 Dress Up in the Fitting Room... or your closet.
I recently was having a session with one of my absolute favorite clients and we were talking about inner child "stuff". She brought up that she had no urge to sit and do some of what had been suggested by others. I think she specifically mentioned sitting on the floor and playing with dolls.
And seriously why would she?!?!?! She is a grown woman!
I've worked with her for some time and I knew that she loved clothes, shoes, and make-up. So I suggested taking herself shopping just to try on new clothes, new looks, and maybe walk away with treat or two.
After her session I followed my own advice and I had a blast! It was something different and relaxing. I didn't find anything I actually wanted but I had a good laugh testing out some new looks.
#4 Have a "Yes Day"
My daughter introduced me to "Yes Day". It's a day dedicated to saying yes to anything you want. When I did this with my daughter, we ended up doing a snack tour of Disney... oddly enough when I did it by myself, I ended up doing a snack tour of Disney. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
This is going to be so nourishing for your inner child (and you as a grown woman).
I bet you frequently put the needs and requests of others before your own. Can you imagine giving yourself a day where you respond exclusively to your own desires? It is going to be LIFE-CHANGING.
If you do this I want you to tell me about it! Just drop me a DM on Instagram or tag me in your pics from the day. You can find me @KerinMonaco.
#5 Meet Friends Who Feel Like Family
A core feeling that comes up in many client sessions is feeling alone, unseen, and unheard.
As an awakened woman you may feel isolated and like no one really "gets you". You may have outgrown some of your friendships and find yourself lacking in that department. It is not always easy to make connections as adults.
This struggle is one of the reasons I created Wild-Hearted Collective. It's a space for the awakened woman to heal and connect with light-minded sisters.
We have a lot of fun in there. We also are able to hold one another in the darker times. If you are really craving more inner child work, we have an entire journey devoted to it.
I want to take this time to invite you into my circle so you don't have to feel alone anymore.
Come sit with with us in circle.