My Journey From Fear to Faith

I know a lot of you want to know how I opened a direct line of communication with Source.

I would be lying if I said that it was a calculated and coordinated effort. I also will not lead you to believe that it was unicorns and sparkles. When the Divine starts talking to you, they will not stop. If you ignore your guides, they will just talk louder. They will be heard, you will listen.

The guides entered my life when I was no longer strong enough to keep them out.

Here is my story.

On September 20th, I sat in Barnes & Noble at a corner table in the café waiting to meet a man I had started chatting with via an online dating site about a week before. He actually had two things working against him. He had children and likely wanted marriage. These were two things, I was pretty adamantly against... despite having a child myself.

There was something about him though even before I met him.

He sat down at the table and an energy field I can not explain took over.

I looked up and my soul said "hello again." I mistook that sensation for butterflies. It was actually that deep inner knowing we talked about yesterday, showing up for the first time in my life.

We had a peaceful few weeks... and then the shake up began.

Plans were broken for reasons beyond anyone's control. I got messages from friends that made me doubt my feelings and this man's intentions. My thoughts turned ugly. I asked a healer to help and she inadvertently made it worse. She said "He is not the one. He is the one for right now." Rather than trusting my intuition, I trusted someone else's and impulsively texted him that I wanted out.

What was meant to "wake" him up... sent him running and me into a tailspin.

I heard nothing from him but the UNIVERSE was yelling. It had to in order to be heard over my sobs over losing the man that I felt was the completion of my soul.

When your awakening begins, it may not be pretty. My activation felt like I was actually dying on the inside. I dropped an excessive amount of weight because I couldn't eat and one of the few things that didn't hurt was walking a nature trail.

I sat in meditation and prayer every day. It always ended in me ugly crying and asking that this man "come home to me" and me sending him peace, love, light and happiness. I was devastated by his absence but I wasn't angry at him for leaving.

A few days in, a psychic told me to wait for his return. I had November 17th planted in my head since it was the day Venus went direct.

The cards kept saying how this was a karmic tie, ancestral wounds coming to the surface, and that everything was working for my highest good.

After finally acknowledging that I was getting signs from angels and guides, one day when going to pick up my daughter from school, I threw up this request... "Angels, if I am not moving on because he is coming back, I need to see a definitive Y.E.S. today."

I forgot about it. My daughter and I were driving home later that night when a sports car cut me off and there on the license plate was YES.

I broke down in that moment. The weeks of complete heartbreak, of nothing making sense, or a desire to just move on and through this poured out. I could no longer deny that my higher power was not just TALKING, she was LISTENING.

I had no choice but to surrender and let her do her work.

On the morning of November 17th, I sat in prayer and asked for help releasing him. I gave it all up. Venus was direct and I hadn't heard from him. I was no longer asking for his return. I wanted to be done. I needed to move on with my life because the ache I felt for this man... was no longer serving me it was hurting me.

He was still the one I wanted, the Divine knew that. If he was meant to boomerang back into my life, he would.

At around midnight later that day, I was woken up from a deep sleep. My phone was silenced so I don't know what stirred me but there was a message. It was him.

The first step to talking to your guides, is believing they are there.

After hearing my story, do you believe?

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